


Ten Things Dan Wishes He Didn't Know

by J (j_writes)



Category: Sports Night
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-31
Updated: 2011-07-31
Packaged: 2017-10-22 01:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_writes/pseuds/J
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>part one of two.  part two <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/232253">here</a>.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Ten Things Dan Wishes He Didn't Know

**Author's Note:**

> part one of two. part two [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/232253).

1) Sam had just asked out his first real girlfriend two weeks before he died, and she came to the funeral with her hair wrapped up in a tight bun, and her makeup running just a little. She found Dan afterwards, and they stood under a tree in the cemetary, watching the rain fall while they talked awkwardly about a boy they thought they had known. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss Dan on the cheek when she left, and he could feel the dampness of her tears lingering on his skin as she walked away. "I loved him," she told him before she went, as if that explained anything at all.

2) When Casey was married, he would come home from the bar some nights smelling of smoke and whiskey and someone else's cologne. Dan isn't supposed to know this at all, but Lisa tells Dana everything, and speaks too loudly when she's drunk.

3) Charlie lies. Casey doesn't notice, and neither does Lisa, but there are small things, insignificant things, that he can't seem to tell the truth about. It makes Dan wonder what bigger lies he's telling.

4) He knows the way Casey smells when he steps out of the shower. Too many nights sharing hotel rooms in too many cities will do that to a guy. Most times Casey showers at night, so Dan can just pretend that he's already asleep when he comes out of the bathroom. But sometimes he'll do it right before they go out, or right before a show, and then he'll spend the night leaning over to Dan, whispering in his ear, reaching for things on the far side of him, as if he knows that Dan's going crazy just from the warmth of his skin beside him, the smell of his freshly shampooed hair.

5) Natalie has a crush on him. She doesn't think anyone knows, but everybody does.

6) Rebecca and Steve are still married, and he heard last week that she's pregnant. He doesn't know if it's true or not, but he hopes she's happy either way. She'd make a good mother, he thinks, and it isn't until later that he realizes that he didn't feel the slightest bit wistful at that thought.

7) Casey kissed him once, back in Texas, and doesn't remember. It's a difficult kind of lonely, being the only one to remember something so important, and for months afterward he would search Casey's face, trying to catch some glimmer of remembrance there. He never found it. He's beginning to think that maybe he dreamed it after all, but sometimes as he's drifting off to sleep he can feel the soft press of Casey's lips against his, still tasting of beer and toothpaste, his fingers brushing warm across the beginnings of late night stubble, and he knows that it wasn't a dream...just his nightmare.

8) Dana still loves Casey, in that scatterbrained and vaguely crazy Dana way of hers, and she probably always will. But she went to visit Sam Donovan last week, and she's been happier since she returned than Dan has ever seen her. Casey, on the other hand, has been a particularly stubborn brand of miserable.

9) Kim and Elliot are sleeping together.

10) He knows how Casey sounds when he comes, because if hotel rooms are bad for showers, they're even worse for other things, and Dan is very good at faking sleep. It always starts the same, the sound of Casey rolling, shifting, trying in vain to get comfortable, and then the soft hitch of breath as he gives in, slips a hand into his boxers. He tries to be quiet, and maybe someone else wouldn't hear the cues, but Dan knows Casey, and he knows all about being a guy. There's no other explanation for that catch in his breath, that almost imperceptible rhythmic shuffling of fabric. And then the choked whimper, buried in a pillow, maybe a curse, maybe a name, maybe just a wordless cry...he can never tell the difference. It always ends the same, too, with Dan staring up at a dark ceiling, listening to Casey as his breath evens out into sleep. His arousal, he has found, is its own penance.


End file.
